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1RetardLand Empty RetardLand on Wed Oct 07, 2009 4:04 pm


I don't want this to be Spam-PG because this is NOT Spam-PG. This is just LIKE Spam-PG. I'll try to get the original Spam-PG from Shady. But till then, I will also put up our EDITED version of Spam-PG in the Once upon a time section. Do give reviews. This story will take some time to make, but I shall give the introduction and a Synopsis.

The story is about a New Country which is being made (even now as we speak) called RetardLand where people have to pay something called Max. Its like Tax, but its just called Max, cuz they have a huge ego and like naming normal things in the wrong manner. The country of RetardLand is ruled in a manner unknown to anyone but those the next step under them - The Dominaters. These Dominaters are of unknown number and origin. Its just known that they are there. They are cruel and TOTALLY retarded. And have NO sense of justice or anything remotely close to the thing called "Common Sense". They are very dangerous.

They are special "Law-enforcers" who 'police' RetardLand - very inefficiently, I might add.

This story is about an injustice done to an innocent bystander and how this innocent bystander decided to get revenge for the injustice done to him. This bystander's name was Aceviper. He had been banished from the kingdom of RetardLand. Of course, he was kid of happy - since that place WAS a retarded place. But his pride couldn't digest the fact that injustice had been done to him nonetheless. His enemity was of-course with the Dominators and the Rulers - all bloody communists.

His friends and fellow community members from old were still in this new country called RetardLand. He was the only one banished and this made him fume with anger. His one fellow inmate...or OUTmate as the situation was...was still trying to scale the walls of RetardLand - MM Omegamode. Aceviper had given up on it by now. He didn't intend to scale the walls. Now he intended to break them down. Down to rubble and dust. Problem was, while banishing him, the Dominators had teleported him to a god-knows-where destination which was quite obviously very far from RetardLand. Now he had to journey BACK to RetardLand braving the dangers and adventures which lay between him and the RetardLand.

His fellow members inside the fortress city of RetardLand were - Arr0wHead, ithil, kyo, SebasChan, Anime guru, Amitup, DieHard and a few others...

He knew the names of only two very dangerous Dominators. They were usually labeled Dominator so-and-so. And so, their names were: Dominator Hanky-Panky, Dominator Goth. They were the two evil Dominators who had succeeded in banishing Aceviper. Revenge is on his way back. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I didn't start it yet because if anyone wants to add anything into the storyline, they can do so before I start the story.

(Please don't shout Pokemon, but lets make this go like a proper RPG - without too much nonsense like Spam PG, yet humour to make everyone laugh.)

RetardLand AcePage

2RetardLand Empty Re: RetardLand on Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:48 pm


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Goth: So... whats the next thing we have to do today?

Hanky-Panky: Umm... lets see.... we crucify this guy for trying to do a good thing... and praise another guy for doing exactly the same thing...

Goth: Isnt that... like.... retarded?

Hanky-Panky: Why do you think we are here in Retardland anyway?

Goth: Right... I forgot....

Hanky-Panky: God... youre such a retard!

Goth: I will take that as a compliment....

Last edited by kyo on Wed Oct 14, 2009 3:02 am; edited 1 time in total

RetardLand 064
There are three reasons why you can't defeat me. One: Your sword is too light. Two: There's nothing I can't cut. Three: I'm more handsome than you - Kyo

3RetardLand Empty Re: RetardLand on Wed Oct 14, 2009 12:41 am


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Nothing related
Lol! I heard so much about Spam PG! Nice that we're starting one here. I'll try to contribute when in mood Smile

4RetardLand Empty Re: RetardLand on Wed Oct 14, 2009 3:14 am


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Goth: So why are we banning this guy again?

Hanky-Panky: Umm... cause he was bi***ing about how crappy the forum is....

Goth: Shouldnt we listen to him and fix the problem?

Hanky-Panky: Orders from above... if the guy implies vulgarity in his post... we disregard everything he has to say.... whether its good for the forum or not....

Goth: Dude.... thats just so.... reta...

Hanky-Panky: Dont you F**... err... dare say it!! (Damn!! Almost did it there myself...)

Goth: Roger...

Kyo: Could you explain the reasoning behind the orders?

Hanky-Panky: Its simple really.... if we get rid of all the people who think the forum is crappy.... then no one will think that the forum is crappy anymore...

Kyo: Umm... but wont it still BE crappy?

Hanky-Panky: Yeah.... but no one will THINK that...

Kyo: Riight... so... basically.... we have to make all posts PG-3 (Yes I meant PG-3 not PG-13) and just not do anything to ruffle your feathers even if it is something to improve the forum?

Goth: Bingo! After all.... we are the Dominator's.... got to control the herd you know.... cant have loose cannons running around usurping/overruling authority....

Kyo: (Eff you Biatch!! NO ONE is the Boss of me)

Hanky Panky: What was that?

Kyo: Huh? I didnt say anything...

RetardLand 064
There are three reasons why you can't defeat me. One: Your sword is too light. Two: There's nothing I can't cut. Three: I'm more handsome than you - Kyo

5RetardLand Empty Re: RetardLand on Wed Oct 14, 2009 9:33 pm


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Ithil: err...sorry to butt in,but my ground keeps jumping around every time I try to enter retardland!

Goth: Nothing we can do about. I only studied till 3rd grade before my teacher kicked me out of school 'cause I was reading "How to become a retard in 15 minutes" in the maths class.

Hanky-panky: Try contacting the Ning GODS. They are the creators of this land. There dark powers hold sway over here. We're only here to bit.... I mean mess around.

Ithil: Okaay.... and why was ace banned anyway?

Goth: He was being a pain in the behind.

Ithil: You can't ban people just 'cause you don't like them?!

Hanky-panky: Oh yes we can! Read the TOS (Times of Sh**) carefully! It says Loony
(The MNC who oversees RetardLand with the help of it's minions,also known as bast****@LPENA in general) holds the right to screw anyone who tries to burn their behind,in a more formal and insanely complicated manner so that no one actually realizes they're being screwed.

Ithil: Right..err....I will go away now quietly and see my eggs hatch!

Goth: Make sure you pm a couple to me!

Kyo: That was..... odd.....

Hanky-panky: That was beautiful. Welcome to RetardLand. The only place where you can piss in public and STILL look cool!!

DH: Hello there. Just wanted to ask why my environmental thread was deleted??

Goth: Enviro...what? Hell! I can't even pronounce this stuff! Tell me in more SIMPLE terms....

DH: Right..... it was a thread where we are supposed to talk about the environment.

Hanky-panky: Hell! Why do you need a thread to talk about that crap?? You might as well make a thread on "I'm a geek"... lol!!

DH: didn't answer my question....

Goth: It's simple. The thread was too intellectual for our terminally softened brains. We hate intellectual stuff! We like threads titled "he he he" and "I saw a flying cow!" or even "Wanna be gay??"


Goth: Rules are rules kid. We simply bulldoze things we don't like and things we don't understand. It's 'cause things we don't understand are the things we don't like and the things we don't like are the things we pretend not to understand even if we do.

DH: I think I'm gonna throw up!

Hanky-panky: Be my guest!

6RetardLand Empty Re: RetardLand on Thu Oct 15, 2009 1:57 pm


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Hanky-Panky is walking with Goth when a paper falls out of his folder... not noticing the paper... Goth and Hanky-Panky carry on walking.... soon afterwards... Kyo comes along and picks up the paper...

Kyo: Who would just drop a sheet of paper like that? Retards...

Kyo turns it over to see the printed document... his eyes widen and he quickly folds the paper and places it in his pocket...

Later... in a small dimly lit room... he unfolds the paper and begins to read...

The Companys Plan for WORLD DOMINATION

The first order of business is to build up a vast army of obedient and mindless zombies.

To accomplish this task, the kingdom of Retardland has been formed in order to gather all the docile and easily manupilated/pacified people in one location and slowly brainwash them with subliminal messaging embedded in their favorite anime.

The Dominator's have been entrusted with the task of weeding out any dissidents, 'anti-social' elements, and anyone who has the nerve (or the brains) to stand against the Company's vision of Paradise (i.e. Retardland). This is a critical task in order to ensure that the army can be controlled. Also, by eliminating the dissidents or hindering their attempts to stir up any thought provoking discussions in Retardland, the speed of the process of 'zombie-fication' will be increased. This will allow the Company to build up a larger army even faster.

However, it must be noted that disgruntled dissidents might discourage people from joining the ranks of the Retardland Zombie Army by creating satiric RPG's and broadcasting them over the internet. Hence the Dominator's should be instructed to pacify the dissidents even as they toss them out into the cold. In case the Dominator's are unable to come up with a logical enough reason which would pacify an expelled dissident, they are to use one of the two standard reasons.
#1 Orders from above
#2 Refer the conveniently vague 'Terms of Service'

End Page (1/5)

Kyo: Dammit.... it all makes sense now... so thats their plan.... wonder what the other 4 pages say? Gah... who cares? They must be frigging retards to believe they can even build a big enough army of zombies.... especially after banning half the members.... Its hard to say who is more retarded.... the Company who came up with the TOS... or the so called Dominator's.....

RetardLand 064
There are three reasons why you can't defeat me. One: Your sword is too light. Two: There's nothing I can't cut. Three: I'm more handsome than you - Kyo

7RetardLand Empty Re: RetardLand on Fri Oct 16, 2009 9:47 am


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On returning to base (ANISUX HQ),Hanky-panky fumbles in his pockets to find his daily dose of brain pills.....But his jaws drop and he lets out a small scream.......
Goth: What's the matter? Need to go??
HP(sorry Potter fans): My's full of brain pills and porn CDs!!
Goth: So what else is new??
HP: You don't understand! When I went out I had brain pills,porn CDs and the propaganda document in my pocket,it's now GONE!!Goth: What??! You were carrying such an important document in your pockets the whole time!! Retards!!
HP: Flattery will get you nowhere....
Goth: Yeah whatever. The important thing is we're toast!! Nothing can save us now....What was in the document anyway??
HP: The first page had brainwashing methods.
Goth: And??.
HP: The final 4..well I never read them. Got too boring. Oh what do I do?? What do I do??
Goth: Shut up jerk face! Lemme think here... you sure you didn't use it as toilet paper?
HP: No man. I keep my hanky for that purpose...
Goth: Nice! It must've fallen on the road then!! It's all over!!
*Just then a guy covered in black cloak enters the scene,apparently in a hurry and with a grammar book in his hands*
Goth: *Oh great! Why HIM of all people?* Heya AF!! Long time no see man!!
AF(Anime Foe): Eh? Who? I'm no AF! AF not exist!! It's all  imagination!!
Goth: * Ugh! Talk about lame* err...right.. so imaginary AF,how've ya been buddy? Where's the fire?
AF: No see you too Moth. Me hurry! Me go to teach grammar to babies! Me grammar teacher!!!!
Goth:'s Goth,with a G. And you're a grammar teacher? In a school?? Wow! Now I've seen everything... retards......
AF: Crotch thank you! ANISUX has lots babies! Me like babies! Me want babies!!
Goth: *Grinding his teeth* Crotch!! Why you son of a .....
HP: *Steps in just in time* He he... you've a funny sense of humor AF! So how's it going with the blogs and all??
AF: Me write blogs? Can't memory....... 
AF: Oh yeah! I memory! Me no write anymore. Me get dead letter from Oxford saying "Die you lump of sh**!!" Me afraid......
HP: Well,I can guess why! Well,wouldn't want to hold ya up. Get going and ..err..... teach your unique style of grammar to your pupils
AF: He he. Me like grammar. Me told pupil yesterday... "Why use preposition?? Make sentence more complicated! Drop them! No using adverbs and adjectives too..... if you not forced to!!" Me like it SIMPLE...... bye......
HP: OMG!! Retard alert!!
Goth: Is that "thing" gone??
HP: Yeah. I guess so. But what about us? We're still in some deep trouble here.....

*Meanwhile,with the important document in his hands,the contents of whose final 4 pages still a mystery,kyo slips through the darkness and enters his secret hideout. THEIR secret hideout. It's the base of operations for PLF(Peoples Liberation Front).An oranization existing for the sole purpose of snatching the power away from LPENA and the dominators and liberating RetardLand. It's other purpose is to build free public toilets with hidden cams installed in them,but we can talk about that later.Other members include Ace (The president),Arrow (Vice-president),kyo (chore boy),DH (clown),Ithil (perfectionist),Shady(err.... the guy with shades) and Omkar(here for fun only)*

8RetardLand Empty Re: RetardLand on Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:50 am


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Goth; I know!! Why dont we make up our own plan? Do you think the company would like that?

HP: Umm.... dude... there is a reason we are the Dominators of Retardland....

Goth: Shoot.... I forgot.... we are retards...

HP:.... and you just proved my point....

Goth: You arent acting as retarded as usual.... you sure youre taking your brain busting meds?

HP: Gah... I downed the entire supply last night.... got a real high off it too...

Goth: Dude... isnt that like.... dangerous?

HP: I am too retarded to tell the difference man...

Goth: Sure.... but since we are both so retarded.... isnt it possible that we could come up with a plan thats so totally retarded that it might actually work?

HP: Look... were not in an anime here.... that just does not happen.....

Goth: Cant hurt to try right?

HP: Umm.... sure?

Later.... weekly Dominator seminar.... Ambassador Mad 'Moron' Moronovsky presiding....

Moron: ... and now.... the moment you have all been waiting for.... HP and Goth will reveal the companys master plan for World Domination....

HP and Goth nervously walk up to the podium....

Goth: Friends Retards and assorted Idiots.... lend me your... err.... balls?

Moron: Sacrilege!!! How dare you imply a vulgarity in your address to this august body!!! Guards!!! Seize him!!

Goth: Noo... wait... it is that idiot AF's fault I swear!! He was the one who gave me this line to use....

Moron: Is this true?

HP nods....

Moron: Guards.... find AF immediately.... Goth... carry on....

Goth: Err.... right.... So as I was saying... lend me your....

Moron glares at Goth.... who hurriedly skips a page....

Goth: (Thinks) Darn!! and I had a whole page of retarded PG 3 gags prepared.....

Goth: The plan for wold domination is simple.... we sneak up to Uncle Sam... and we use our supremely retarded behavior and mannerisms to drive him insane and then make him into a mindless slave.... Presto... we have taken over the world....

Entire audience is silent....

Goth: Dammit... I knew this wouldnt work... I should have made up something even more retarded....

Then the whole audience erupts in applause..... Moron goes up to slap Goth on the back....

Moron: Good job in carrying out your mission to bring this plan to us.... you shall be well rewarded....

Goth: Umm... thanks?

HP: Damn Goth.... that was impressive.... its so retarded that it might actually work....

Goth: I knew that you would like it....

Kyo is watching this via one of DH's hidden cams...(one of the very few not being used for perverted purposes),....

Kyo: I cant believe how retarded they all are....


Kyos latest camouflage post (in order to appear subservient to the retards.... and thereby appear to be an obedient zombie.... )

"There are three reasons why you can't defeat me. One: Your sword is too light. Two: There's nothing I can't cut. Three: I'm more handsome than you." - Kyo (Samurai Deeper Kyo)

This one is probably my favorite... but there are plenty of others I really like... for example.... from Cowboy Bebop....

"Don't pull that art of war STUFF on me, and you, you take too long to take a DUMP!" - Spike (Cowboy Bebop Movie)

"You know the first rule in combat? [empties sub-machine gun through closed door] ...shoot them before they shoot you" - Faye Valentine (Cowboy Bebop).... Shes soooo hawt!

"I'm not a criminal. Oh That makes me seem even more like a criminal, doesn't it?"- Spike (Cowboy Bebop)

"Lesson, lesson...if you see a stranger follow him." - Ed (Cowboy Bebop)... I can almost imagine what a concerned parent might say or look like after hearing this....

"The more you know, the shorter your life is" - Electra (Cowboy Bebop Movie)

"I love a girl who can kick my REAR." - Spike (Cowboy Bebop Movie)

NOTE: Words in caps have been modified from original so that I do not offend the delicate sensibilities of our gracious Moderators and Admins.

RetardLand 064
There are three reasons why you can't defeat me. One: Your sword is too light. Two: There's nothing I can't cut. Three: I'm more handsome than you - Kyo

9RetardLand Empty Re: RetardLand on Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:15 pm


Unfortunately, since Ace had been teleported far far away, he needed to get back to this secret hideout to discuss further matters with the fellow members.

Problem was - he was stuck in the middle

Ace - Dang man. I hate those retards. They HAD to teleport me to some god forsaken barren land. Couldn't they have dumped me in Amsterdam or something?! At least I'd have some work to call "recreation"!

As Ace walks further down the path, a forest appears. He starts walking into the Forest. SUDDENLY LAME MUSIC IS PLAYED! A monster appears in front of him!


Ace - ....
Monster - Prepare to die! If you beat me you get experience points! If I beat you I get Experience point and if -

Ace - STFU! The F is going on?! I refuse to effing play Pokemon with some retard like you!

Retard - *shock* Omg! My cover has been blown already! No wonder you are recognised as dangerous! Such acute senses!

Ace - .....

Retard - There's no point hiding my true self anymore! *flash of light* . I AM an ASS-ASS-inator! And I have come to assassinate you!

Ace - Wow. You have more than two asses then?

Retard - Lol. Yeah. Two on me, and two in my job. Haha. That makes four - HEY! Dont change the topic! As I was saying - I HAVE COME TO KILL YOU!

Ace - Totally man. Just lets see you do it! *removes metal knuckles*

Retard - *runs towards Ace*

And as he runs, he trips over a rock.

Retard - Oh Sh- Cr- Fu - ....POOP! I cant believe I fell on a rock! I must be retarded! Oh wait. I AM retarded.

Ace - ....

Retard - .....Well, then I must be worse than JUST retarded.

Ace - Are we supposed to fight? Or trip around? You cant really tell your bosses that you went for a "trip", when you were supposed to be killing me, right? So why don't we get the violence ON!!!

Retard - Liscense? What Liscense?

Ace - No. I said "Violence".

Retard - What Fence? Man, you making no sense!

Ace - ...*thinking* WTF?! He IS worse than JUST retarded!

Ace - *Out loudly* Okay, butt-head! Lets get it on!

*And after saying that, Ace runs forward and jumps in the air with such effect that its so friggin obvious that he was being pulled by strings like in movies. Man, but when they fly like that in movies, it looks real awesome, so I wanted to try it out. He then whacks the face of the Retard and kicks him in the crotch. Then he picks some mud and dumps it into the Retard's eyes. Why? No reason exactly. Just for fun. Then he opened his belt and.... (WHAT?! HE WHAT?! NO NO NO! That's not in the script!)...and whips the hell out of the Retard -__-*

Whip. Whip. Whip.

Retard - Ouch ouch! NOoooo! It hurst!!!!

Ace - You mean "hurts" ?

Retard - oh yeah, that. Damn my spelling.

Ace - You mean "Damn your pronunciation"...?

Retard - The hell is wrong with you?!

Ace - *whip whip whip*

Retard - ouch ouch ouch ! It hurst!


Retard - *somehow gets up and runs...straight into a tree*

*And as he ran straight into th tree with all his might, he shook it so hard, that a coconut fell from the top and smashed onto his head. Have any of you got hit by a coconut fallnig from the mean, a tall tree? Well, suffice to say it's good you haven't been hit - quite a fatal blow it is! And so, here ends our fellow Retard's journey in this RPG, since the coconut falling on his already bruised body was enough to kill him.*

Ace - Oh well, that rids me of one problem. Imagine fighting a guy with not one, not two, BUT FOUR ASSES! Man! Even the thought is scary! His fart might have been worse than his fight!

*And so, Ace continues his journey through the forest.*

RetardLand AcePage

10RetardLand Empty Re: RetardLand on Wed Oct 21, 2009 2:44 pm


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In the land far far away where Ace
was supposed to be teleported. This land called Farfarawayland. It is ruled by
Omkar, the king of highly intellectuals. He’s so intellectual, most of his
words are difficult to comprehend for normal vocab souls. The people seek
solace in ‘yes-sir-ing with whatever he says.

Omkar, proceeding towards his holy
chambers called “Einstein’s Acumen”, escorted by his ever faithful servant Jin,
a zombie werewolf with a limited vocab and ultra-sonorous howling power. He was
earlier a part of Retardland where he was called Redwolf. But the retardland
bosses thought of making his name unusually cool as Redwolf directly said he
was a wolf so they changed his name to Jin. The real Redwolf still exists
though, unknown to humanity. The intellectual in Omkar hired Jin thinking he
could help in contacting extra terrestrial species using Jin’s giant screaming
powers. Now, of course, he regrets his decision as the howl consist only of “Owwwwwwwww”.

Omkar enters the chambers and his
subjects rise up bursting into Omkar’s welcome tune-

Omkar is the king,

Though he is not the singh,

Here we go o – o- o-o

Um, hum, oh yeah, aha, ehe

Omkar(taking the seat): Damn, where
doth this homosexual sapien Aceviper gone? Didn’t he in his superlatively subservient
brain juices culmination oath to grant us a rendition with his divine
personality once he’s kicked out of the retardland?

Jin: Blah Yessir, o Sir, you are
perfectly right sir, o sir. I agree with you sir, o sir…

Omkar: Pin down your trap, Wolfie.
Here, savor this cold blooded aka dead rabbit.

Jin: O sir, thanku sir. *Jumps high
in the air to catch the rabbit thrown at him, misses his judgement and hits the
ceiling impairing his already impaired brain further, not that it worsens it*

Omkar: Lets get the groove up Jin, I
mull its epoch that we take matters in my own hands and your own paws. Un-disband
the Time-machine, o formerly retarded one. My ultra sensitive sensors embedded
in my nipples impart me the assessment that Acey’s ensnared in a land far far
away from Farfarawayland, somewhere in the perpendicular bisector point of the line
of displacement between Retardland and Farfarawayland. We should also begin
underpinning work of making the voyeuristic toilets which we grandly call ‘That’s
how God meant us to pee’. I want to vociferously ascertain my undervalued worth
as “here for fun only” to the PLF and make them nickname it in accordance with
one of my landmark-making brainwaves: Pee-ers Liberation Front.

Accompanied by his faithful servant
Jin, Omkar enters the Time-machine, stolen by Jin when he ran away from
retardland. The time-machine’s name was painted in bright big red letters as ‘Amalgum
of the Conscious, subconscious and unconscious’. It had been painted over its
former name- ‘Are you so retarded to believe it is actually a time machine?’

And thus their search for Acey

11RetardLand Empty Re: RetardLand on Mon Dec 14, 2009 3:30 pm


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Meanwhile, on his epic journey back home, Ace gets incredibly bored.

Which is only natural, considering the scenery of where he currently walked through was predominantly in an eye hurtingly green tinge.

He then picks up his cell phone and starts surfing the net, coming to a halt at the Retardland thread on Amalganation. He pores over it with dread, a twinge of fear coming over him as he realized that it was a tale that perfectly mirrored his own situation.

Finally, He comes upon the last post, concerning King Omkars plans to find and rescue him...

a second later, he switches his cell off, muttering, 'TL:DR'.

Suddenly, out of the bushes ahead, a 9 foot tall blue creature appears.

It looks toward Ace with it's golden yellow eyes, and stops. It's ears twitch and it sniffs the air to see what this unfamiliar-Ace-odour was that marked the area.

It finally draws itself up to it's full height, Regal and Proud with infinite splendour, and with a booming voice, says...


Ace is confused, and then suddenly realizes. The Eye Gougingly in your face scenery, the Strangely disorienting feel, The nine foot tall furries.

He was in the most dangerous place of all.

*dun dun dun!*

RetardLand Wantedgtfowx8

12RetardLand Empty Re: RetardLand on Wed Mar 24, 2010 7:02 am


This is...very frightening roleplay XD

13RetardLand Empty Re: RetardLand on Thu May 22, 2014 9:42 pm


A random retard appeared. Yo!

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